well people, everyone's updating so i suppose i'll update too. a lot has happened in the last year or so....where do i start? i suppose i can start with the journal titled "new job." Yeah, that didn't work out. That doctor's office let me go the next day. Why, you ask? Because i asked if they were going to drug test and how they were going to do it so they suspected me of doing drugs. Bullshit, but whatever. So, after that, i went into a bit of a depression time where I just sat at home and played MapleStory all day until it got to the point where I was staying up all night and sleeping all day. Needless to say, that wasn't a good time in my life. My boyfriend, however, was the most wonderful person ever during that period of time, and still is to this day. For the entire 7 months that i wasn't working, he paid all the bills and everything. He tolerated me, the fact i wasn't working, and didn't care to work. When july rolled around, Skye helped encourage me to change my lifestyle and to change myself...to get a job, and to also take all responsibility of the bills off him and start taking care of some bills myself. Also during that time, a friend that i had lost for a while came back into my life. He was applying for a job at Sears at the time, and encouraged me to apply there. So i did. I got the job, started working there, and was starting to get steady paychecks. It was trash money, but it was money. And it was only temporary until i could get a better job. Well, october and then november rolled around....that became the time that seasonal people were being hired at Sears. A girl that was hired there actually already had an awesome job working at Citigroup in the retail side of Collections. I told her that i had tried once before to get a job there, told her what position i applied for, and how long ago it was. Well, she said that most people that apply for customer service don't get the job. She said that if i applied for Collections, i'd prolly get it. Well, in november, i went back to citi to apply again and sure enough, i was offered a job. I had to pass a background check and a urinary drug test, but i still got the job. I started January 7th. I had 4 weeks of training and went productive feb 4th. I currently make 11.14/hour. i have every other weekend off. i have saturdays off permanently. I love it. If anyone that reads this wants info, message me and i'll provide more info.

Well, something else that's going on in my life...

for those of you who know me and any of my family in real life...my sister is bi. she's been with some girl that she met in may for a few months now. Well, about september, my sister was making plans to move up to seattle washington becuz that's where our dad lives and she wanted to get away from everyone and everything. Well, that's good right? Well, she gets with this girl named Jessy. No one knows much about this girl except the fact that she's from Detroit and she came to texas may of last year. Well, since my sister has been with this girl, she's completely changed her moving plans. This girl has gotten my sister into doing Ecstasy. Jessicca and her g/f are selling their cars and stuff and moving to chicago may 1st. My family thinks this is total idiocy and that this girl jessy is going to take everything my sister has and leave my sister stranded with nothing. Not to mention that because i was concerned about my sister and the direction she's headed in her life, i told my parents that my sister was doing ecstasy and also that my sister got her tongue pierced. When my sister talked to my parents the other day, my sister lied and said that she bit her tongue and that it swelled up. My stepdad flat-out told her that i told them. So apparently, because of that, my sister isn't talking to me. Fine. Whatever. I love my sister and would do anything I could to help her. But I won't help her if she moves up to chicago and fails miserably up there. My sister moving is tearing my mom to pieces. My mom and my sister have practically disowned each other. which bothers the shyt out of my mom, i know it does. And i can't help but to be concerned, and actually more pro-active in my mom's life since my sister will be gone. I know i won't be able to fill the hole that will be where my sister used to be in my mom's heart, but i sure as hell can help my mom and be there for her more. I can be more pro-active in her life to help her see that she still has at least one good daughter that loves and cares about her. I used to resent my parents in high school for the shit they used to do (i.e. not letting me do stuff, hang with ppl etc.) but now i'm not so resentful or angry with them anymore. I love my parents and only wish the best for them. And i know this shit with my sister isn't helping any.....where my sister and my mom go from here is beyond me...or my control.

I'm glad that i still have something good in my life. I have my boyfriend, Skye. I love him more than anything in the world and would do anything it would take to keep him. Yes, we've had our differences and we've had our fights and stuff(thanks zim for being there) but i wouldn't give him up for anyone or anything(except my mom).

Where my family goes from here dealing with my sister....I don't know. I just know i can't stand to see my mom cry or even hear about the fact that she cries every day because my sister refuses to listen to the advice my parents are offering to her. Even now, as i write this, i can't help but to cry a little because it hurts so much inside to think about the pain that my sister is putting my family through. And also the fact that my sister doesn't care. It bothers me so much that sometimes i just want to scream at my sister and hog-tie her so that she can't leave and continue to hurt my mom like this....

Anyway...i think i've written enough for now. That's a pretty large update on my life right now i think....i know it's a novel, and i'm sorry...but it's just something i had to get out...

Thanks for listening...you've been great....

...the one and only....

Alexdria

aka

Jen